Boring Speakers Should Be Jailed

That’s my philosophy. And if you can’t bring a little humor and entertainment to your audience as well, then you ought not be in the speaking business (but as long as you’re not boring, I’ll stop short of advocating jail time).

As you might expect then, if I speak at your conference, trade show or event, I promise to bring an informative, entertaining, and likely hilarious experience to the podium. I’m interactive, conversational and no-BS. Since I’m an adult and I speak for adults, my presentations often include adult language (although, as the father of two small children, I know how to dial it back for a more sensitive audience).

**What Do I Talk About?**
Over my professional career, I’ve acquired expertise on a variety of subjects — and I’m happy to share it with any audience who wants to listen. It makes me feel like a worthwhile human being. Here are some of the topics I can speak about with authority.

Inside Google’s Battle For Your Brain (New for 2010-11)
The world knows Google as a storehouse of all human knowledge, and savvy marketers know it as the biggest and most successful advertising company in the history of the world. But very few are aware of Google’s elaborate & comprehensive plan to extend its advertising reach into every medium of human communication — and beyond. Google’s deep pockets, war chest of proprietary technology and still-unrivaled market position will allow it to shape the future of advertising.

What will the world look like when Google has its hands in your emails, your phone calls, your voicemails, your TV set, your computer applications, your music, your instant messages, and much more? This 360-degree examination of the company’s initiatives paints an eye-opening picture of a future in which Google is, for better or worse, right in the middle of everything you do and say.

Google Adwords For Grasshoppers
If you’re brand new or have less than 2-3 years managing Google Adwords campaigns, then this seminar is for you. Learn how to build effective, profitable Google advertising campaigns from the ground up, and avoid the dozens of mistakes that keep advertisers large and small struggling to figure out what they’re doing wrong.

Topics covered include: campaign structure, audience selection, editorial guidelines, ad copy, keyword selection, split testing, match types, keyword bids, budgeting, metrics, and more.

Google Adwords For Ninjas
If you’ve completed the Grasshoppers seminar and want to take more steps to becoming a true Adwords Ninja, this is your seminar.

Topics covered include: advanced geotargeting, analytics, international and foreign-language advertising, landing page optimization, Quality Score components, the Adwords API, content-network advertising, YouTube and mobile advertising, and more.

How I Made $575,000 (and counting) With Google Adsense
I’ve made $575,000 and counting with the Google Adsense program in less than six years, and it’s money that comes in automatically. As in, “while I sleep,” like those cheesy informercials and spam emails like to say. I show my audience the real, live statistics and explain how I got there.

Google Adwords Mastery
This is a very robust topic that gets its own page. See the “Consulting & Training” section.

Digging Yourself Out of Debt
When I started my agency in 2001, I quickly ran up $40,000 of credit card debt — and had no clients. I sold my blood, delivered Auto Traders and volunteered for medical experiments just to keep the lights on. But since 2006, our agency has earned between $1 and $1.5 million annually. I’ve been under a mountain of debt and dug myself out. So can you.

How to Win More Scholarships (for students & parents)
Since 2003, I’ve given away more than $100,000 of my own money to scholarship recipients around the world. I’ve read and judged thousands of scholarship essays, an experience that led me to write my “Confessions of a Scholarship Judge” book and start the website GiveMeScholarships.com. This is a very popular topic among students and parents everywhere. Apparently no-BS financial-aid speakers are in short supply! Discounted fees to student groups.

Intensive Resume Workshop For New Graduates
Also since 2003, I’ve been receiving sloppy, poorly-done resumes from entry-level and veteran job seekers alike. Most folks seem never to have received any guidance about how to craft a professional, bulletproof resume. Again, I was prompted to write a book and launch a website on the subject. The book is forthcoming, and the website is GiveMeAResume.com. Whether you’re a student who’s brand-spanking-new to the job market or a seasoned professional dusting off your resume during this rough economy, prepare for some eye-opening tips and killer advice on how to cut through the competition and get the job you want. Discounted fees to student groups.

Intensive Resume Workshop For Adult Job Seekers
This is the same basic workshop as the new-grads seminar above, just tailored for an audience of non-college grads, mid-career workers and workers looking to change careers.