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Past Winners of the
Dale E. Fridell Memorial Scholarship
Quarter 1, 2008 Dale E. Fridell Scholarship Winner
Elizabeth Kramer
After many years of being away, I have returned to college. Many
obstacles were in my path that prevented what I should have earned a
long time ago. I decided to go back to school for personal, as well as,
professional reasons.
When I was young, I never knew that I had a mental disorder that had a
major impact on my life. I am bi-polar. Not to use this disorder as an
excuse for my decisions I have made in my life, but it did have a major
influence. I struggle with each day, but with the determination to
succeed I am able to fight my “episodes” in order to complete my goals
that I have set for myself. I am attending college to obtain a
Bachelor’s Degree with a major in Computer Information Systems. I have
to admit it is very difficult, I have to fight a few setbacks while
completing my courses but I seem to be doing well.
I intend to use my disability to help me further my goal to help the
mentally challenged population in a unique way. I would like to emphasis
the use of technology to benefit individuals that are mentally
challenged. As time has progressed, an individual must have knowledge of
technology in order to succeed in a career. Even though I may have a
passion for helping those in need, I need to also think of my own
situation and provide for my family. This is a main reason for the type
of degree I have chosen to pursue.
When I first came out of high school (Patchogue-Medford High School,
Medford, NY) in 1981 at the top 8% of my class, I did not go to a
college. Instead I went to a business school to earn a Secretarial
Certificate from Taylor Business Institute, Hempstead, New York, that
gave me the foot in the door to the business world. It was the 1980’s.
Times were different in my opinion for women such as me during this time
period. I came from a very dysfunction family. I was abused, battered
and psychologically not fit to attend school during this time period. I
thought if I could get my foot in the workforce I could later achieve
climbing the ladder by going back to school and intertwining on the job
training when computers were just becoming the “new edge” in the
business world. However, my set goals did not come about like I had
planned.
I lacked self-confidence my previous plans were interrupted in 1983. I
had suffered a major car accident which I went through the windshield of
a car and had severe nerve damage throughout my body. To add to my
troubles, I was mentally sick without confidence that I married in 1985
to a man I (like many women that were young) thought “I could change.” I
went back to work in July of 1986 and had hopes to learn on the job at a
company that build PC computers how to use them. They were, also,
willing to send me to college to advance my knowledge. However, it did
not come to pass.
I will just say I was a battered woman for many years. To boot, 9 months
to the day of my marriage I had given birth to a mentally retarded
daughter. It was difficult to hold down a full-time job. I would work on
and off in the business, for a few weeks at a time in cashier,
secretarial, and even selling Avon to make ends meet. My husband at the
time would just up and quit jobs, go on drinking binges. This would
continue on and off and hold me back from continuing my education and
obtaining a career that I was capable of handling even with a mental
disorder.
In 1988, when I finally was able to gain the courage to leave my
ex-husband at a time when we were living bedroom at my family’s home, I
found out that I was pregnant with my second child. I felt that I had no
where to go, no one to turn to for help, and stuck in a marriage that
was not healthy for me. My world had one disappointment after another. I
was still in a marriage that my parents would say at the time that “You
made your bed, now you have to lie in it.” Needless to say, you can see
that I had no encouragement to move on.
However, I had one kind neighbor who let me know about government
programs in our area that could help me. When they heard my plight ( I
didn’t mention anything about the abuse I was under with my husband at
the time), I was able to get on a program called “Section 8.” This
program helped us get out of my parent’s home and into an apartment. I
thought I was able to “come out of the darkness” sort of speak. That,
too, was not the case.
In 1989, I somehow, found out about distance learning. I was able to go
to school and learn some computer programs that would help me “keep up
with the times” and later to utilize in pursuit into the workforce. We
were on public assistance at the time. I was still being abused,
unhappy, and becoming unhealthy much of the time.
However, in 1990, I was able to keep my secret unhappy home life gain
employment with a company that manufactured airplane parts. I was able
use the brief education at the time in order to get back in the work
world. My children were in special school programs and in after care, in
order for both my husband and I to work. It was not much money but it
was the chance for me to gain independence, confidence, and hope. But
yet again, that was not the case.
In 1991, the recession was becoming in full force at the time due to the
war. I was doing well, making more money than my husband, very happy.
Then, the same day I lost my job “due to the recession and cutbacks,” I
found out I was pregnant!
I went through a very difficult time, physically, mentally, and
economically. I had a high-risk pregnancy that I became housebound and
could not look for employment and had to live on disability. Then even
further we lived on public assistance. My husband had lost his job,
would not look for another and just “drank and ‘smoked’” our money away.
We went deep in debt.
In 1994, I decided to go back to college and thought I could take on
paralegal studies at Briarcliffe College, Patchogue, New York. I
completed quite a few courses but due to complications with my personal
life, I changed my focus to business.
I put an enormous effort to continue my studies at Briarcliffe.
Unfortunately, I was not able to complete my Associate’s degree. It was
a very upsetting time for me not to finish what I had started, but the
factors in my home only became worse. I had to put my education on hold
in 1995 due to the fact that the domestic abuse by my ex-husband was
becoming worse. I had a nervous breakdown, was placed in a psychiatric
program and for the first time was on mental medication. I went to
Skills Unlimited, which was a vocational rehabilitation a government
program for the disabled. I took refresher courses in computer programs
and at this time, “I finally saw the light at the very dark tunnel I was
traveling in my life.”
In 1996, I became strong enough to leave my ex-husband. In 1997, I moved
on, and found employment in a Customer Service/Sales position. I was
earning a substantial income for about two year, in 1999, the company I
worked for decided to “down size” and sold the “infant” company from the
“parent” and had an unexpected lay off throughout the company.
It took a few months but I was able to gain employment as a Contracts
Coordinator that had responsibilities that was a combination of Customer
Service, Administrative, Statistics, forecasting, and negotiations. I,
also, took on a second job part time after my full time job and was
doing quite well (financially, spiritually, and mentally. Needless to
say, I was on the road to an independence that I never had felt before.
Again, fate would intervene in a dark way. I had another car accident in
1999 that put my goals on hold for another few months. For a short time,
I had gone on disability, eventually, losing my job. Even though I was
still hurt and disabled physically, I did not let that stop me from
going back to the work force. I was able to find employment again in a
tile company. I re-married in 2000, and in 2001, I lost my place of
employment due to a physical illness that I had surgery, which led to
another mental breakdown.
When I was able to return to work, in 2002, I became pregnant, at the
age of 39, with my present husband’s first child, and my fourth! In
short, my present husband is mentally ill and physically disabled. In
2003, three days before Christmas, he had a massive heart attack. His
condition is worse than mine, and as a result, I have been the sole
supporter of a family of six. (Two of my four children are mentally
challenged). Right now we raise our family together with the sensitivity
of the handicapped.
In 2004, I became the sole provider for a family of six. My eldest
daughter, 21, is severely mentally retarded. After many years at home,
she just recently (2007) moved into a group home with other individuals
like herself. I have 3 children that live with me and my husband; my
eldest son, 19, has multiple mental disabilities; my youngest son, 16,
has asthma, and my youngest daughter, 5 yrs, will always need her heart
to be check for any abnormalities. My husband has been disabled since he
was 29. He has not been able to work for six years and does not receive
any income. I recently lost my employment, the same time my eldest
daughter moved out.
At present, 2008, the only income we receive is from my Social Security
Disability and my unemployment checks, which is not very much. However,
in the eyes of the state’s standards, it is too much. This doesn’t help
me when I need to pay for the utilities, rent, and to provide food for
my family. I am a weekly visitor at my church’s food pantry. I am
struggling with my mental disorder that challenges me each day while
trying to find employment and continuing my education. Now, after
several years, I have a different goal and outlook of what would be for
my best interest.
I belong to a government program called The Section 8 Housing Voucher
Family Self-Sufficiency program. This program gave me the push and the
incentive to overcome my hurdles and forge ahead in the pursuit of
furthering my education in order to find a better career. It is a five
(5) year program that is the stepping stone for owning a home and
getting off government funding. A little over two years from now, my
goal is for my family to live in a home that we own. With the
encouragement of Kara Funaro, of the Family Self-Sufficiency program, my
family, and my ambition, I know that I can change my family’s situation
than how it is at present.
I have worked mostly in the Administrative Assistant and Customer
Service fields of business. These positions have provided a nice income.
However, it is not enough for my situation. There are many careers in
the Suffolk County Government that offer twice the amount of income that
I can earn now. Many Civil Service opportunities offer a substantial
income that is greater that what I have ever earned in the past or at
present, as long as I have a degree. Once I graduate, I can qualify in a
wide range of positions that I may be able to help others like myself by
using the technological experience obtained from college, in combination
with my personal and professional experience. I want to be able to
encourage others with mental disabilities of what technology can do for
them.
Briefly, my personal life had a major influence to continue my
education. I had a family early in my life. As I mentioned previously, I
have four children. Two of my children are mentally challenged. I have
had first hand knowledge of almost every program out there in our
society that would benefit individuals such as me and my family members
who are afflicted with mental disease. Since I am mentally disabled, I
have my own case management services to help guide me through many tough
years.
I have used the Social Services system in so many aspects that I know of
more programs than my case manager does. I have seen first hand how many
representatives in the Human Services field don’t have strong skills
with computers. In fact, many have personality issues on top of lack of
technological skills.
I love helping disadvantaged individuals who may need help and
attention. Some people cannot handle this type of population, but I have
been around it for so long it doesn’t bother me. In a short time that I
had worked for an agency to help the disabled, I could actually see the
corruption on one hand, and the concern on the other. There is a lack of
patience for many who claim to love working for companies that help the
disabled. However, the pay scale is not very high, which may be another
factor for the quality of work that is lacking for this population.
Even though I have case management help, I have taught my “case
managers” that are younger than me, various programs, forms, and other
options available to me that they had no clue what I was requesting and
had to inquire with their supervisors. These case workers do not have
much understanding of technology, besides the sincerity necessary to
help their consumers. I show them the endless possibilities, websites
and information available in cyber space that can help them, as well as,
their consumers. I understand computers better than any case manager I
have had over these past ten years.
In fact, I have had more personal knowledge of how to take an
uncontrollable mentally retarded child and know when an agency should
intervene to have that child go to a respite house. It benefits the
child as well as the rest of the family that has been stressed with the
actions of the child. I have a unique outlook of how to use my
bachelor’s degree for my future in computer information systems.
I feel that learning as much as I can in information systems, I may be
able to focus the handicapped child or individual away from the
stressors of life, and maybe lose themselves (sort of speak) in the
computer technology world. I do not know at this time how to go about
utilizing my skills, but that is the reason for choosing the course I
have for this degree. Once I complete my studies, I would like to create
some kind of system for this population to understand the computer in a
level that won’t have them feel “different.”
I have helped my own case workers develop a plan of action at times of
extreme loss. The grieving process is a natural reaction everyone who in
one way or another have had to face. People who have bi-polar or other
similar mental disorder, (especially severe depression) may need that
extra help to find the right counseling, and medicine therapy that would
help the individual follow through the process without “falling back.”
I, myself, while facing grief and loss, know that extra counseling at
times is needed in order for me not to have the mania and depression go
into full swing. I have seen others, such as myself, face what I have
and, in turn, advised them to seek help before it would become a problem
(mentally, physically and economically)
One way of coping (in my opinion) is by losing yourself in the computer.
There is another world out there, and by being able to use the
technology at hand, the grieving process, or any other traumatic issue,
can be less stressful by knowing where to look into the Internet for
relief. I may be able to guide the way to do this if I understand it
myself. From my personal knowledge, there are different procedures and
possible steps to help individuals in need at a very critical point in
their lives.
As a re-entry woman, my life has been both common and unique to other
women. I was a victim of domestic abuse by my ex-husband. Leaving this
man took strength and courage, which I am proud of myself. I had to work
at whatever job I could get and raise my three children at the time on
my own. Two of which have severe mental disabilities. My ex-husband has
not paid child support for over 8 years. This left raising my family on
my own. It was not easy, especially when my disability would get in the
way of my success.
I am most proud of staying strong for my children and my husband. Being
able to continue with school no matter how difficult it has been for me,
and to show my children what an education can do for them personally, as
well as, professionally is a great accomplishment. My family is precious
for me. I had many obstacles from my health, to my family obligations,
and my economic situation that hindered me to continue ahead in my
education.
I married a man that has supported me mentally. He is there for me when
I feel like “giving in” to my doubts at times. Even though he may not be
earning an income and is severely ill, he has been strong by taking care
of four children. While I would be out earning the income to keep a roof
over our heads and food in our stomachs, he has been there for all the
children. (Three of which are not biologically his own.) I feel that he
has contributed his share to our household even though he may not be the
one earning an income. It doesn’t just take one individual to take on
everything to raise a family. We all support each other, and that is
what a family does.
If my family was not as supportive, I may not be able to continue as far
as I have accomplished today. I have been able to work and continue in
school full-time for a long time with the knowledge that my family is
there for me. They are there to encourage me to continue my educational
goals. Not only for us to gain financial stability, but for me to
succeed! Finally achieving my goals! Not falling in the depths of
despair and dwelling on my illness!
However, success is a term that has many meanings. I feel that success
for me is to continue each day and not giving in to the “demons” I have
which hinder me with “episodes,” can overwhelm me at times. My family
needs me. This is my strength.
Once I have earned that Bachelor’s degree in my hands, I can show my
parents that one of their children has graduated from college. They were
happy that my siblings and I had graduated high school. However, not one
of us graduated from college. In fact, my parents do not know that I am
in college. I want to surprise them. They both never completed high
school and had high hopes for me a long time ago. Now, I will truly feel
happy by showing them that I had succeeded by obtaining my degree. They
were not the most supportive and felt that I would never make it.
However, I want to prove anyone that they were wrong about me.
At present, my “demons” are trying to win, but I am fighting! The
college that I have enrolled in has been able to work with my slips and
falls. They are willing to help pick me up and continue on to reach my
goals.
The field I have chosen is difficult but not so hard to achieve. I know
that I have the capability to learn this field. It has taken its toll on
me, but I am determined not to let my illness get into my way of
obtaining this degree. My illness can be very overwhelming and has set
stumbling blocks in my way. However, there are many out there that have
their own blocks to climb over. I just need to find that right
stability, by having the confidence and respect to myself. I feel that I
am on the right road to obtain that stability for myself and my family.
I want to find a more stable, challenging, and fulfilling job. My last
position in the workforce was a Customer Service representative. I have
been thinking of even furthering my education later on to earn a
Master’s Degree. However, I need to pace myself and start by actually
finding employment in a better career that my bachelor’s degree can open
the door for me. Even though I may not have finished what I started to
earn a degree in my past, the classes I did learn helped me further my
employment opportunities when I was healthy to do so.
Once I have established myself in a new career, I feel that I can give
back to my community by volunteering my services to the mentally
challenged by being an advocate when it comes to their needs. Helping
those less fortunate or struggling with an illness like mine is
something very important to me. I have recently spoken with my own case
manager and her agency is looking for someone like me to help advocate
for others. I may be able to even earn an income rather just be a
volunteer by having my degree. This degree will open more doors to me. I
intend to look at every door that will open and find the one or two that
I will be able to walk through and use to my own advantage.
I am already feeling proud of myself by learning the application of
systems that I would always ask for help from others. It’s a wonderful
feeling of accomplishment. Once I finish my experience with Empire State
College, I hope to find that right career that would provide
satisfaction personally, as well as financially. I need to be sure that
being educated will exactly mean what the word “educated” implies.
Mainly, that everything I have been taught will be used in one aspect,
or another, for future use.
By the end of 2010, I want to have that Bachelor’s Degree! During the
same time another goal is to have obtained full-time employment in an
entry level position dealing with computers. As I progress and thrive in
my career I intend to be able to provide my family to live much better
than our situation at present. I feel that I will obtain work in Suffolk
County Civil Service and progress in such a way that my economic
situation will be of an advantage. A position such as this will satisfy
my wishes to make a difference for the disabled population, by
inter-twining my knowledge of computers and my passion for this
population. Another goal is to not live off government funding within
the next five years, which will be about 2013. Instead, not just myself,
but my entire family will be able to “make it” on our own.
At present, I am in need of financial help for additional expenses that
I have in the course of my education. It would be of great help to have
additional funding to make it a little easier to meet my educational
needs. I have made a big step in my life, and I intend to make that step
go even further. I am even thinking of even furthering my education to
obtain a Master’s. My family relies on my strength, even when I am
“sick.” I intend to make a difference. I hope you will seriously
consider my request for assistance.
I hope to continue to learn, both in a critical thinking, in addition,
with hands on technical skills use, to provide my future with a
direction that I initially decided to go to school for; to earn a better
income. My objective is to find employment in Suffolk County Civil
Service in a position that I can use my computer skills and my knowledge
of disability services. I feel I can succeed in achieving success.
I hope that you would seriously consider my application. Even if you
decide not to award me with this honor, it was nice to voice my
situation in the hopes that others will see that not all individuals on
assistance want to maintain living off the system. Not all disadvantaged
individuals are unwilling to learn, get ahead, and take on challenges in
the form of education and careers. Many want to be self-sufficient in
this society, and that includes me. I want to thank you for this
opportunity to request your help in funding for my pursuit of earning a
degree.
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