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A portion of Erica's winning essay:
Black America is being sedated by the media and pop culture in
ways that misrepresent and mislead the community. Hip-hop artists
have glamorized the harsh realities of the impoverished amongst
us, black political leaders and intellectuals more readily support
a “race-less” future, and the pro-black visionaries
of yesteryear have been made complacent by the codification of anti-discriminatory
policy. These groups, in consciousness or not, have turned the desperate
condition of black America into an “invisible community”—a
forgotten wasteland of vice, addiction, anger and limited mobility—all
while the media provides them with celebrity status and an unapproachable
demeanor that neither inspires nor mobilizes those whom they claim
to represent. That having been said, I am frustrated by the marginalization
of impoverished blacks and am tired of the larger community’s
silence on the issues that are slowly but surely perpetuating generational
hopelessness.
The issues surrounding black America have long preoccupied
my thoughts. Having grown up in a “broken” home, but
raised far from it, I was provided with the rare opportunity of
experiencing hopelessness but not becoming a part of it. My bi-racial
teenage mother, caught in an abusive relationship with my alcoholic
father, sent me to live with my white grandmother—a woman
who taught me that the only definition that matters is the one you
create for yourself. I recognize that in today’s racially
blended society, the circumstances surrounding my upbringing are
not uncommon. It is unique, however, in that it is solely responsible
for my perception of life and society. I have always felt that my
life is a living dichotomy. I grew up in either the “white”
world of Ann Arbor or the “black” world of Detroit;
a single parent household or double. My childhood could be described
as happy, carefree and privileged or terrorized by alcoholism, dysfunction
and near poverty. Academically, I was either overwhelmingly passionate
about my work or absolutely unmotivated to pursue subjects of which
I had no interest. I attended an all black college and then substantiated
that experience by going to a graduate school where students of
color where few and far between.
Professionally, I began my adult life as a teacher in one of North Philadelphia’s toughest
ghettos. My next position, in drastic contrast, was as a consultant
with a prestigious educational consulting organization with strong
ties to the Bush Administration. Since I live my life along clearly
defined lines, my nature compels me to take a strong stand in defense
of what I feel is right. It is nearly impossible for me to straddle
the fence on issues of social, political and economic importance,
and I always find myself in support of the underserved, the disenfranchised
and the marginalized among us. The stark contrasts that I have
experienced in life taught me many truths about both myself and
the world that we live in.
The most important lesson, upon which
I plan to base my body of work in film and electronic media, is
that having varied and enriching experiences allows us to make sense
of ourselves and the world around us. If one were to take this tenet
and apply it to impoverished black America one would see that the
problem lies neither in victimization nor lack of motivation but
instead in the ignorance that they unknowingly carry. This community,
reliant upon cable television, radio and other forms of media to
provide them with information, is being manipulated and exploited
by networks that claim to be their representatives to the mainstream.
I base my assertions upon the personal and professional experiences
that I have had working in disenfranchised, predominately black
neighborhoods. As a Teach for America teacher, unlike most of my
peers, I chose to live in the same North Philadelphia neighborhood
in which I worked. I witnessed more of what it means to be frustrated
by limited mobility then, than I ever have in my life. Most of my
students had never ventured beyond the six-block radius of their
neighborhood and emulated the things that they heard on television
and the radio as ultimate truths—a problematic norm that I
would like to change. Despite being an effective and highly motivated
teacher, I became “burnt-out” by the seemingly endless
drama that kept my students from focusing on changing the cycles
of oppression. I then decided to focus my energies on changing the
system by entering the educational policy world. As a consultant,
I hoped to share the practices and insight that I gained while in
the classroom to improve struggling schools. This ideal, however,
proved in vain. I found that the educational system, as is the case
in others, is so heavily bogged down by bureaucracy that its major
players feel no connection to its true purpose. I also found that
many organizations espousing to improve the system by working outside
of it do so either for profit or for status and rarely out of sincere
agency. In essence, I have grown quite cynical of and jaded by the
system. My heart bleeds for those who are trapped in it. After
all of this, I've decided that I'd like to study film and electronic
media. Why? First and foremost, I want to become a major player
in the creation and dissemination of mass media to underserved peoples.
If I were able to manipulate imagery in an effective and compelling
fashion, I might be able to present information in ways that allow
the people to transcend complacency. I want to make movies that
inspire people and make the world a better place to live in—that
heighten awareness and compel people to change their lives for the
better. I have also enjoyed a hobby in film, writing and photography
for some time now and would like to merge my passions with my talents
so that I can feel ownership over my career. During my senior year
in college, I was part of a team that developed a short documentary
called, “Femcees: Women in Hip-Hop”. Working on this
film was one of the most rewarding experiences that I have ever
had. I really challenged myself and my group to work in ways that
would merge the women’s stories with their “inner-selves”
by creating complete images within each frame; that is to say that
I wanted the surroundings to tell as much of the story as the subject.
Though our novice piece had its imperfections, the response that
we received was all in high praise. So strong was our body of work
that even after our screening at Spelman, we were invited to show
“Femcees” at Temple University and the 2nd Atlanta Women
of Color International Film Festival. Even there, our audience felt
the importance of the messages that we were relaying and supported
us in continuing on with the work. My experience with “Femcees”
proved to me the power in film. Doing more and better work has constantly
been on my mind since. The Mesothelioma Memorial Scholarship will
significantly help me achieve my goal of merging my passions, talents
and experiences in my quest to create a career for myself. My family's
financial situation (being that I am the first person in my family
to receive any type of college degree) has made it necessary for
me to live independently and without any assistance. This, coupled
with the fact that I have lived in cities with sky-high costs of
living and the comparitively low-pay rates of working in education
and the non-profit sector, has made it difficult for me to adequately
prepare myself to return to school full-time. Without financial
assistance, it will be virtually impossible for me to return to
school. I sincerely want to return to school to follow my dreams--the
Mesothelioma Memorial Scholarship would play a major role in allowing
me to do this.
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