A&E Intervention: Entrepreneur vs. Alcoholism
By Josh Barsch
I am a huge fan of the show “Intervention” on A&E. It’s not that I like watching other people’s misery — I hate that part, actually — it’s just that it’s a weekly reminder of just how wrong things can go for you if you make certain poor choices in your life. And if you have children, “Intervention” is the world’s best instructional program about the multitude of different ways you can screw up your kids for life with behavior that spirals them into addiction later in life. You name it: physical abuse, neglect, absence, infidelity, emotional/verbal abuse, divorce, estrangement, death of a friend/family member — all of this stuff can rocket a kid into a life-consuming addiction later in life.
Pleasant thought, eh? Not at all, and my wife can’t stomach the show at all. But the misery and sadness is exactly why I watch it — to keep myself in check. Anyone who reads this blog with even semi-regularity knows that I am a father first and everything else comes second, and if watching some gut-ripper stories on shows like A&E give me regular encouragement to center my own life and doings around the well-being of my children, then so be it.
Tonight’s episode was especially resonant for me, though, because I saw a lot of myself in the subject, whose name was Lawrence. He was an entrepreneur who started a successful business in his twenties (just like me). He was a big weightlifting/workout guy in his 20s (just like me). He’s now 34 (just like me), and his vice was booze, just like mine was. I’m not going to spend a bunch of time and detail going into specifics (not because I’m shy, but because this post would never end), but suffice it to say that I was not a social drinker. I didn’t drink every day, and I didn’t do eye-openers or get the shakes, but I could only drink alcohol one way, and that was full-throttle. If I wasn’t going to end up blasted drunk at the end of the night, then I didn’t want to bother with one sip. That’s how it is with some people. Most folks who drink can have a beer or two and call it a night (or a mixer, or a lunch, or whatever) and head on out to the rest of their day.
Not me. The moment of the day that I started drinking was the end of anything else that was going to happen in that day for me, other than drinking. And I would keep drinking until I passed out — there was never a point of, “well, I think I’ve had enough for the night.” That point was whenever I lost consciousness.
Anyway…I quit drinking on August 22, 2003 when I was 29, and I haven’t had a drop since, which thankfully leaves me out of the running for an appearance on “Intervention” or anything similar. However (WARNING, SPOILER ALERT), watching tonight’s episode about Lawrence certainly opened my eyes to what may have happened to me had I kept boozing. Lawrence was my age exactly, but already had advanced cirrhosis of the liver (Oh, and not to mention testicular cancer thrown in for good measure. Jeez. When it rains it pours.). But Lawrence never quit, kept on boozing hardcore, and you know what? He died in February at age 34 from esophageal bleeding, which apparently is a symptom of cirrhosis.
Damn — he drank himself to death at 34. I’m 34. Would I have ended up doing the same thing? I have a lovely wife and two beautiful children that I would’ve left behind, not to mention all the other family, friends and employees who depend on me. It’s a sobering thought (ugh, no pun intended, but that is indeed the right word).
See what I mean? This is why I watch “Intervention.”
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Josh Barsch founded StraightForward Media in 2001 after a brief career in print journalism. He now lives in the sticks of western South Dakota with his wife Christina, daughter Mia, son Ezra, two dogs Velvet & Holly, and cat Chanceux, all of whom he loves dearly. And four nameless hermit crabs, for whom he feels nothing.
18 Responses to “A&E Intervention: Entrepreneur vs. Alcoholism”
1 Lisa 17 April 2008 @ 12:46 am
I agree very much with you on the reasons to watch the show. It does truly help keep oneself in check. I know that its not good viewing for young children, but I think its an eye opener for 17 yr olds and even my 13 yr old. Now a days the kids start experimenting so young and if they have never witnessed what drugs, alcohol and so forth can do to you, the show really opens their eyes up I think. I to get sickened at times watching the show, but its a reality and I agree when you have children “Reality” has to be addressed. I also get a good feeling when I read at the end of one of the shows and it states that they really have helped a person change their life around. My hat is off to the people that have helped those that other wise seemed helpless.
2 Geoff 18 April 2008 @ 5:43 pm
I saw this episode and was really moved by it. Lawrence was in major denial and I think he just wanted to die.
3 awah 21 April 2008 @ 1:07 pm
please i could not get through to the 2nd page and wish to complete my application soon .Thanks
4 Jay 22 April 2008 @ 5:44 pm
Great post Josh. I think binge drinking is escalating at an alarming rate among young teens and it carries over into adulthood for many of us. Just a bad habit that prevents emotional and sometimes mental maturity. I’m sure you have matured mentally and emotionally much faster than if you hadn’t quit the Etoh. What is the point of drinking ‘a little’anyway? I’m with you, I tend to go big or not at all and I am getting too old for it. I quit it on April 4, 2008.
5 SFM-Josh 22 April 2008 @ 11:42 pm
Jay:
Thanks, and congrats if you feel that was the right move for you. I think I came of age differently from most folks when it comes to drinking. I never drank as a kid, in junior high, high school, etc. My folks never drank, so there was nothing in my own house, and it just never held much appeal to me. Even in high school, I just wasn’t interested in partying when the other guys were. I have to say, I had some very good friends even back then — I never once heard a negative comment, never got left out of anything, never got teased or anything like that for not drinking. Every one of my friends was fine with it and never said a word. From what I hear and read, that seems to be a deviation from the norm. Anyway…
I got to college, and something changed. I can’t even tell you when or why it happened. I remember two things, actually, from my freshman year of college at Boston University: 1) the first time I got “drunk” — I was at my roommate’s house for Thanksgiving on Long Island, and he was having a party. I drank a six-pack of Coors Light, and I was drunk. It was a lot of fun. And; 2) I remember drinking Jack Daniels from a bottle in my dorm room — by myself — to celebrate the Kansas City Chiefs signing Joe Montana. I have no idea what happened between those times, booze-wise (couldn’t have been much…I know I didn’t drink a lot that year). I don’t even know how the hell I acquired the bottle of Jack (I had a few friends there, but not many, and none over 21). But as pathetic as the alone-with-Jack Daniels story sounds, I drank rarely that year. Then, I transferred to Southeast Missouri State and roomed with my best friend, and then we took boozing to a new level.
We were 19 at this point, and we drank twice a week — Thursdays and Saturdays. On each of those days, we’d have the guy in the apartment above us go buy two bottles of hard liquor — usually a bottle of Yukon Jack and a bottle of Goldschlager or tequila — and at the end of each night, the booze was gone. We did that for about 2-1/2 years. The last half-year was my final semester before graduation, and at that point, it was about 4 nights per week. I had a 3.9 gpa and was graduating, nothing I was doing course-wise mattered at all, so I just went batshit with the boozing then.
My point here is this: “binge drinking” was literally the only way of drinking alcohol that I was even aware of for almost 10 years of my adult life. I had absolutely no concept of social drinking, just having a couple of beers somewhere, or one glass of wine with dinner, etc. I never had occasion to see this in action growing up — never saw it at home, for example, because my folks didn’t drink at all. I was in my late 20s, literally — and this admission just staggers so many people, because I am a halfway intelligent human being otherwise — before I learned that most people who have a drink at a mixer (or a cocktail party or a softball game or whatever) stop after a couple of drinks, and don’t, in fact, continue to drink all night until they can no longer feel their face and have vomited everything they’ve eaten since sundown.
So, I’m not sure if the drink-til-you-drop urge is just innate in me, or whether it was learned behavior. But I never did it halfway. Once when I was drunk, I tried to walk over the Mississippi River bridge connecting Missouri and Illinois in Cape Girardeau, Mo. — and it wasn’t a pedestrian bridge. It was one of those narrow, 90-year-old, two-lane suicide bridges. Cars, and occasional semis, were whizzing by both ways, and I had to step up onto the steel girders every time a car came so I didn’t get run over. I made it halfway, to the state line, where the cops had stopped traffic and were waiting to, uh, “have a talk with me.” Here’s a picture of the bridge (before they blew it up a few years ago):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/10192264@N00/?saved=1
6 Cousin in mourning 12 May 2008 @ 11:05 pm
Hello Josh. I would just like to say that it’s unfortunate that you judge without knowing the truth. My cousin Lawrence did not “drink himself to death”…unfortunately there were other circumstances involved and his life was ceased in a horrific manner that I cannot go into detail. I know we all have our “opinions” on things we see on television, but honestly…if a person has passed, it’s a little shameful to use their story to gratify yourself. I know you are NOTHING like my cousin was…he NEVER boasted about doing well. As you saw a 40 minute version of him, he was a kind, loving and very generous person. He loved his family with all that was within him. I am saddened that his life was cut short at such a young age, but ultimately his “life story” helped many, many people after airing on A&E Intervention. I pray that God would somehow open your eyes to see the blessings you have..a wife and children..it is not by YOUR will that your drinking stopped…nothing happens without God having a hand in it. God bless you and all who read this blog…Cousin in mourning
7 SFM-Josh 12 May 2008 @ 11:28 pm
Hi, Cousin. Gee, you make it sound like I’m somehow glad your cousin died. I’m not. It saddens me, and regardless of his actual cause of death, his life story is instructive to those who drink to excess and many others. I’ve no doubt he was a kind and loving guy. Other than your religious beliefs, it doesn’t sound like we disagree about anything at all regarding your cousin, and I’m sorry for your loss.
8 Kasto 2 June 2008 @ 11:55 pm
Who is awah? Are you okay? Kim
9 rahu 8 June 2008 @ 11:07 pm
Great experience Josh. You done good job and given a lesson to addicts.I sure many will realize.Go ahead.Better luck in your life.
———————————————-
Alcohol abuse affects millions. This site has a lot of useful information.
http://alcoholabusecenter.com
10 Laura 7 October 2008 @ 7:20 am
When I watched this episode my heart just went out to Lawrence and his family and friends. I myself lost my best friend to the same thing March 8, 2008 - a few weeks after Lawrence’s passing. He looked surprisingly similar to him and also had a very similar past. He was very much in denial as well and I wish that both of them could have received help that worked - I feel that help is always something different for each individual and can not be “canned”. It is hard to figure out what every individual in pain really needs. I am happy that you Josh are ok. Again, my heart still breaks every day and my thoughts are with Lawrence’s family and friends as well.
11 Candi Meadows 12 November 2008 @ 4:10 pm
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12 Vito L 2 February 2009 @ 2:11 am
Josh ur a tool have u ever heard the term keep it simple?
13 Vito L 2 February 2009 @ 2:16 am
Know one gives a shit about ur material goods ur in total self centerness to post a blog about someones death to tell the world how good ur doing as J Krishnamurti said a person who thinks he is silent does not know silence maybe u should read some of his books!
14 Hakim 4 April 2009 @ 2:33 am
I have been dying to say this. I LOVE the show “Intervention”. As a matter of fact I am watching it right now. What I have noticed over the last three years is the fact that they NEVER show African Americans. They did ONCE! I can’t remember his name but he was a basketball player. I am amazed by this. I think the show should change its name to “Enabling”. The majority of the scenes in the show depict addicts demanding money from exasperated parents, spouses and siblings. They usually look into the camera and say, “I know it’s wrong but I don’t want to see him/her out on the street.” Or “If I don’t give him/her the money they get angry and I don’t want to upset him/her.”
I honestly would like to to know if African Americans just aren’t as interesting on TV. God knows we have just as many addicts as white people, if not more. How is it that we are not represented at all in a TV show that has been running for over four years that focuses on drug and alcohol addiction? I honestly think it’s the enabling part. We simply say no to addicts. We have no problem kicking Little Miss Overindulged Heroin Addict out on her ass.
I am just saying it would be interesting to see if I am generalizing. You know, Black people do this, White people do that. I am sincere in my curiousity.
15 Chris and Shawn from A&E Intervention 5 April 2009 @ 11:54 am
This show saves lives! Please visit our website for Updates on Chris
http://www.myspace.com/shawnchrisde
16 Odette 25 May 2009 @ 1:01 pm
Dear “Chris and Shawn from A&E Intervention”:
I have also been watching this show and wondering about the “underrepresentation” of blacks as addicts on the show. It bothers me that, over several seasons of this show, I have only seen one black person profiled on the show, and it’s not because I want to see more, it’s because I think the old double-standard is at play; if you are white and are an addict you have a disease and need to be helped, but if you are black and sell the drugs to the white addicts then you are a low-life and need to be thrown into jail. Blacks do drugs also, but when we do it, we don’t get featured on “Intervention”, we get featured on “Cops”. Why don’t we have a show where we follow drug pushers around for a few days, see how that is affecting their lives and their families, and then offer them an intervention where they would be offered all expenses paid job training, and a guaranteed job at the end, or whatever they need to help them out of the situation that causes them to sell drugs in the first place? Well, because that wouldn’t be good TV would it? Actually offering black people help rather than just throwing them in jail? Who wants to watch that, right? It’s much more entertaining to watch them be wrestled to the ground and handcuffed and treated like animals… If the underrepresentation is because black families aren’t asking for the help, I suspect that is because if you are black, you don’t want to announce to the world that you are an addict, once again because of the double standard; you would forever be looked at and treated differently; we already have hurdles to jump over when it comes to getting jobs, housing, etc., and the last thing we need is for a prospective employer or landlord to Google our names and come up with an episode of “Intervention”. We don’t get to explain it away as a “disease”. I think it’s a great show, I enjoy watching it myself, and I like to see people getting helped, but I wish that as a society we could recognize the double-standard, and start trying to help all of those whose lives are touched by addictions, to include those who supply to drugs; and I’m not talking about the high-level drug dealers and smugglers who live in mansions and have garages full of sports and luxury cars; I mean the street-level peddlers who do it because they need to get money somehow to feed their families, and are in no way getting rich by doing it.
17 Odette 25 May 2009 @ 1:03 pm
Sorry, my previous post was in response to Hakim’s post.
18 Destiney 27 August 2009 @ 1:02 pm
WHAT. So do you think they should try and add more African American people so that they have a good balance?
I hate people who think like you guys do. I am an African American female and I choose to think of myself as equal, because that was the way I was raised. I would never jump to conclusions like many other African Americans do, assuming they’re always going to be hindered by society because of their race! They show a lot of hispanics, which are another minority… I mean you’re basically saying they’re racist, am I wrong?
The show comes from families being concerned about their family member. Maybe white people are just more dramatic.
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